Landon.

This blog is dedicated to my love Landon. Yes, you read that right. It's been a while since I've written one of these things. Well, I'll begin in saying that Landon did fall in love with me. Somehow, I knew that he was starting to, from the minute he looked at me while we were acting in the play, as I came out on stage. I can't help but say that I fell in love with him too. It's just the way that he understands me and how I've showed him who I really am; plus, he showed me who he really is too. Now that we know each other better than anyone else, our bond and chemistry just grew and grew every time he walked me home. We went on our first date, and shockingly, he went to my father and asked him first so that I don't have to worry about my father saying no. It was so sweet when he asked me because before I even said anything about my father, he already beat me to it in telling me my father said it was fine. After the play and not walking me home anymore, I missed him a lot, and I know he missed me too. That's why from then on, he's been taking me home everyday, also we'd go to the orphanage to visit the children. We are always together now; he'd come by to my house, and we would sit outside on the porch to talk about different things. Then he'll take me to places where we can eat or watch movies, anything to be together and pass time. Then one day I just felt sick, like completely tired and unable to do anything. That day Landon was outside my house waiting for me in the cold, and I had to act like everything was okay, even if I didn't feel well. The thing was I hoped he didn't see anything wrong. At first he didn't, until he realized how small, fragile, and pale I became. Then he got worried. As we went back to my house, we stood face to face on the sidewalk. At that moment I started crying, and I told him my secret. My secret is that I have leukemia; we both stood there crying our eyes out of tears. Obviously we had more than we thought because we went inside to tell my father that Landon knows, and all of us were just crying inside my house. It was such a painful and disturbing moment. Landon kept asking questions: Is is treatable? Will she be fine? How long has she had this? When did you guys find out? Then my father just tells him the whole story, and the fact that I am dying and it isn't treatable. Landon was devastated. I know he was and still is. I can see it in his eyes every time we're together. It just kills me inside... That was something wrong to say. Anyways, just seeing him like that hurts me a lot, and this is the exact reason why my father and I didn't want any boy to fall in love with me. It would just make their world a burden to have to go through watching the one they truly love dying everyday. Now, I have about two more months to live; well that's what the doctor told me. It doesn't scare me to die because I know that it's in the Lord's plan to take me away from Landon and my father to be with him. I have learned to accept that. Now I have to go. I'm feeling sleepy. Therefore, my last thought is the following: Although my father and I didn't want Landon to fall in love with me, I'm glad he did because now I can't picture myself going through this without him. I love you Landon.