the News...

Today I went to the doctor, not sure of what they were going to tell me. I never really understood why I'm so fragile inside of me, but not out because I am strong. I know that it's in Lord's plan to have me diagnosed with leukemia. The kind with no cure, which means I am dying at this moment. It kills me inside, nice joke, that I'm suffering from this. However, I'm glad its me instead of someone else I care for, like my father. Oh, my father. He was devastated as the doctor was telling him what's really going on with me. Everyday, I pray for everyone, and now it's time I pray for myself. For now, I will go through with my short time left in this world as happy as I have ever been in my entire life. This year I will make Christmas the best I ever had, and I will play the role of the angel in my father's play the best from others in the past. I want my father to be proud of me, and that's the most important thing I want to do for him. Plus, I want him to know how much I love him everyday, so he will never forget and won't be hurt when that time comes.

I am definitely excited for tomorrow because I will be with the orphans. They don't know, and they won't know because I don't want them to suffer much as well, but maybe until I start to feel the side effects of leukemia. Hopefully, I'll be fine during that time because I'm scared. Scared is what I'm feeling right now; I don't appreciate it, but I'm in a situation of life and death. To tell you the truth, it frightens you so much that you can't believe it's happening like falling in love. Speaking of falling in love, it's something I dream of happening to me; however, I don't have a great chance of that happening. Me getting married? Now that's something impossible now, is it? Well yes, by the looks of it it is. My wish is to get married and walk down that aisle to meet my soon-to-be husband, and that's all I want. Well, I'm finished here; I'll write back as soon as possible. Goodbye.