My Last Moments.

Well, according to the picture, Landon asked me to marry him! The shocking thing is that my father approved of it. I was extremely happy. Landon remembered that the one wish I want to come true is to get married to the one I fall in love with. That description fits Landon perfectly. As soon as he proposed to me, I didn't hesitate in saying yes. The thing is it just disappoints me that we won't grow old together. However, I'm still thankful for him. I know that it was in the Lord's plan for Landon to fall in love with me and me to fall in love with him. Now that I am married to the love of my life; my life is complete, and I can't ask for anything else in the world. Therefore, this is my last entry. I've been writing for one purpose, and that's for my father to come and read this if he just wants to have me back, and now for Landon to never forget how we fell in love. I just want to say I love you, my father. Lastly, I love you with all my heart, my husband. Goodbye.

Landon.

This blog is dedicated to my love Landon. Yes, you read that right. It's been a while since I've written one of these things. Well, I'll begin in saying that Landon did fall in love with me. Somehow, I knew that he was starting to, from the minute he looked at me while we were acting in the play, as I came out on stage. I can't help but say that I fell in love with him too. It's just the way that he understands me and how I've showed him who I really am; plus, he showed me who he really is too. Now that we know each other better than anyone else, our bond and chemistry just grew and grew every time he walked me home. We went on our first date, and shockingly, he went to my father and asked him first so that I don't have to worry about my father saying no. It was so sweet when he asked me because before I even said anything about my father, he already beat me to it in telling me my father said it was fine. After the play and not walking me home anymore, I missed him a lot, and I know he missed me too. That's why from then on, he's been taking me home everyday, also we'd go to the orphanage to visit the children. We are always together now; he'd come by to my house, and we would sit outside on the porch to talk about different things. Then he'll take me to places where we can eat or watch movies, anything to be together and pass time. Then one day I just felt sick, like completely tired and unable to do anything. That day Landon was outside my house waiting for me in the cold, and I had to act like everything was okay, even if I didn't feel well. The thing was I hoped he didn't see anything wrong. At first he didn't, until he realized how small, fragile, and pale I became. Then he got worried. As we went back to my house, we stood face to face on the sidewalk. At that moment I started crying, and I told him my secret. My secret is that I have leukemia; we both stood there crying our eyes out of tears. Obviously we had more than we thought because we went inside to tell my father that Landon knows, and all of us were just crying inside my house. It was such a painful and disturbing moment. Landon kept asking questions: Is is treatable? Will she be fine? How long has she had this? When did you guys find out? Then my father just tells him the whole story, and the fact that I am dying and it isn't treatable. Landon was devastated. I know he was and still is. I can see it in his eyes every time we're together. It just kills me inside... That was something wrong to say. Anyways, just seeing him like that hurts me a lot, and this is the exact reason why my father and I didn't want any boy to fall in love with me. It would just make their world a burden to have to go through watching the one they truly love dying everyday. Now, I have about two more months to live; well that's what the doctor told me. It doesn't scare me to die because I know that it's in the Lord's plan to take me away from Landon and my father to be with him. I have learned to accept that. Now I have to go. I'm feeling sleepy. Therefore, my last thought is the following: Although my father and I didn't want Landon to fall in love with me, I'm glad he did because now I can't picture myself going through this without him. I love you Landon.

The Play.

It was amazing, the play. I did something that I suppose shocked everyone. I had my hair down for the first time because today is a very special occasion, and plus I felt the angel needed to look beautiful with her hair down. Before the play, I confess, I was a bit nervous about going out in front of everyone, but I reminded myself this will probably be the last time to have the spotlight on me and act. Therefore, I went out there with confidence and determination to please the crowd. I believe that's exactly what I have done. It felt amazing to have the light shine on me and me delivering the lines with all the emotions in my heart. I was thinking of my father the entire time. He gave me the boost I needed, just seeing him in the crowd happy and proud gave me a wonderful feeling inside. Then I saw Landon... He was looking at me in amazement, and for a while he just stood staring at me. I thought that was adorable, but I was serious and just continued as if I didn't notice. Through out the play everything went perfectly; in the end, everyone stood up and applauded. We received a standing ovation; my father said it was because of me. That just made me cry, so we just held each other crying. Then Landon came to us and excuses me with him for a talk. Landon starts telling me he's sorry about the previous night, and how he was just having an off day. I just couldn't help it, seeing him like that, so I just accepted his apology and told him to take me home tonight. That's exactly what he did. However, nothing happened. That's basically all that happened during that night. Plus, people were crying, too, while watching the play and after. I'll write back soon; I'm pretty tired from all that acting. :]

Pictures of the play

The Preperation For the Play.

Well, for the next three and a half weeks, Landon and I will be spending a lot of time together. The reason why is, three days ago I asked him to do me a big favor since I had done him one. That favor was for him to be the lead role in the play besides the angel; and he agreed to it! I was so joyous and thankful for him accepting it. I knew he would, he knew I did him the most blessing thing by saving him from getting any serious injuries. I believe that he'll do an excellent job with the play. Plus, he'll help out a lot with carrying the heavy, old wood for the play. He walks me home. That is probably the best part of my day. Great, I hope I'm not starting to like him. Anyways, I'm working so hard to memorize all of the lines by heart, so then I wouldn't forget any when I perform.
To be continued..


Continuum..
Well, it's been two weeks! That means in about a week the play is going to be performed! I am extremely anxious and excited to be in it. Landon and I had a plan to perform the play to the orphans as a warm up before the real thing. However, when we were at the orphanage discussing it to the boss and he told us something we should have realised in the beginning. That is the story of the play is about the father finding his daughter, etc. and that would hurt the children because they don't have parents, and can't relate to the story. In the end, we didn't do it because it was a bad idea. However, we brushed it off and continued rehearsing. Now, we are getting all the costumes and stage equipment ready for the first major dress rehearsal. I'm ready to do it, and I know it.

Today went kind of wrong for Landon because when we were waking home he completely yelled at me and confessed what he's been feeling inside this whole time. For example, he's tired of me saying that things are in the "Lord's plan", and that I'm always nice to everyone. Before that he was completely quiet too. It was a side of him I've never seen, and I don't even know how I got him so angry like that. I have to tell you it was a bit frightening. Then again, he still walked me home even though he was steps ahead of me, so when he was in front of my house I thanked him for walking me home. However, I think that upset him more.

Today I didn't go to school because I had to see the doctor. The doctor needed to check up on me and see how ill I am now. It wasn't a pleasant visit either. I guess that I am getting worse because of the leukemia, but I feel as if nothing is wrong. Therefore, I'm going to pass in taking any pills for it. Throughout the whole day, i have to say I was thinking of Landon. I hope he feels much more better than he did the last time I had seen him all upset.

Three more days until the play!

Two more days!

After today, the main event of my life is going to come tomorrow! I am extremely ready, enlightened, and anxious to perform it. I will make my father proud of me. I just hope I don't cry on stage. I'm just kidding about that, I will stay focus to perform well for everyone. Wish me Luck Tomorrow! Bye.

Homecoming

Wow. My day was very surprising. Guess who asked me to homecoming...

LANDON!!!

I was shocked, but then I knew. I just knew that he wanted to by the way we were outside my house, and how he moved his chair towards the sun after running all the way to my house from school. I could tell because he was sweating intensely as soon as he arrived. It was adorable how he kept pausing and thinking how he can ask me to go with him, so I told him that I'd have to ask my father because he has to approve these things. However, I just decided to go with him, this is going to be one of my last moments here. Then he left as soon as I accepted. To be continued after homecoming...






Continuum.
Wow. Tonight was quite an exciting one. Well actually, it was intense because of everything that happened. One thing was I helped Landon get out of a fight with his ex-girlfriend's boyfriend, who put a little something in the punch that got everyone woozy. Then during that quarrel the girl decides to rush to the bathroom and puke everywhere! Landon, since he's such a nice guy, follows her to the restroom to help her, then clean it up. Therefore, I couldn't have him doing that by himself, so I knelled down to help him out. That's mainly the climax of the night, but before that we pretty much talked and danced around a little. However, I really enjoyed my time with Landon at homecoming. Yes, I know that the only reason he asked me was because of the fact he didn't have a date, and everyone else was taken, so he decided to have asked me. Plus, I figured this out all by myself. In the end, I'm glad to have approved of going with him. What an oddly, but amazing night. Oh, my father had asked why I smelled and loooked horrible as I got home, and I told him the entire story. He seemed to agree with me that he's nice, but he also said that Landon is stupid for staring at his ex-girlfriend in the first place. He told me that Landon should have just payed attention to the beautiful one that was right in front of him, and then I blushed. I love my father, he is such a wonderful man. Well, I'll write back soon. Bye.

Back To School

I'm back at school. These past couple of months have been great for me because I have forgotten about my illness for a while. Until I realised the date yesterday and remembered that my time is coming sooner than I thought. It is November now; the school play is coming up soon. Today the actors for each character have been cast. Not to brag about it, but I am the angel, of course. I was extremely delighted on that fact, and that my old schoolmate Landon was in the class. To make sure he understood that I knew he was there, I smiled at him. I'm pretty sure he got that memo because he seemed to notice me during class. Talking about Landon, I think he should be the one to play my father because I really don't want anyone else to pursue it. I'm not trying to be rude, but I believe that it's in the Lord's plan for him to act that role in the play. Oh, did I mention homecoming is coming up pretty soon? Well, it is; and once again no one has asked. I mean I don't expect anyone to, but since it's my last year to live and all--I would definitely appreciate having a date and going to homecoming. I'm not sure if that wish will come true, but I'm praying for that possibility. Plus, our new class president is Landon now! I was extremely happy for him--I voted for him. Well, that's it for now. Bye.